By Lawrence Kadzitche
At that time, I thought the day I met her was the best day of my life. But today as I sit in my small prison cell, I take it as the day my nightmare started. I do not blame my wife for the calamity that led to my arrest and subsequent imprisonment. I’d betrayed her trust and love. So there was absolutely no reason for her to feel any pity towards me when I’d with calculated coldness planned to rob her of everything she owned.
My Golgotha began with the five o’clock rush hour-the time when everyone knocks off from work. This is a time that driving on the roads of the city of Lilongwe is a nightmare. The roads become congested, filled with a sea of cars crawling at a snail’s pace. Even those travelling on foot are not spared the agony as the sidewalks becomes crowded with people rushing to get home before the darkness overtakes them to make them prey of unsavoury characters who eke out a living by relieving others of what they’ve worked hard for.
I usually used to beat the traffic jam by either knocking off early before the roads became flooded or later when they’ve been drained of traffic. I’d these flexible working hours because I owned or rather my wife owned the company where I worked as the Managing Director. Whether I knocked off early or late, I normally branched off at the shopping mall to buy fresh bread before speeding off home.
On that day, I knocked off early and branched off, as usual, at the shopping mall to buy bread. I was rushing into the supermarket when I bumped into someone. I looked up, alarmed. I’d crashed into a girl who had been getting out of the supermarket while eating ice cream. To my horror, the ice cream had spilled all over her black dress!
I’d expected to see a face ugly with anger. But when my eyes reached her face, I found a smiling goddess of beauty. Her short hair was coloured gold and her heart shaped face housed magnificent large eyes and full lips.
You can say a man close to sixty has seen enough of girls to be bowled over like some teenager. But the girl had a body that knocked out my breath. In my life I’d never seen a girl with such a narrow waist and broad hips. I imagined that if she wanted to carry a child on her back there would be no need to strap it on with a cloth, her buxom behind would do the trick.
I stood there like a drooling idiot, her beautiful face competing with her amazingly curved body for the attention of my eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” her voice jolted me out my trance. “I wasn’t looking.”
“No…no, it’s my fault,” I said hastily. “Had something on my mind.”
She smiled again at me to show a row of white even teeth, “It happens. Have to be on my way, have to catch a bus home.”
Again something moved in my stomach. People say all women are the same. I was old enough to know that this is just something coined to make ugly women feel good. Not all women are the same. If all women are the same, why is it that there are some women who make your heart beat fast while others do not? That is because women are different. Some attract us while others do not. It’s as simple as that. So I knew that the girl attracted me wildly and it would not be a wise decision to spend any more time with her. The best was to let her leave.
But instead I said, “Let me drop you home.”
“Let me not impose on you. After all it was just an accident,” came her response.
“Well, I insist. You can’t travel in a bus drenched in ice cream,” I said and added as a joke, “If you do, kids will eat you up.”
When she laughed at the joke, her laughter was like music to my ears. I laughed too, although there was nothing to laugh at.
“Well, since you insist,” she said with a shrug.
We walked side by side to my car. I stole glances at her as we walked and marvelled at how appetisingly her bums shook as she walked.
Suddenly she stopped and looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time. “Wait a minute. I think I’ve seen you somewhere, either on TV or in the papers.”
“Could be,” I answered. “I have featured in some business articles.”
“Yes, that nails it. You’re Steven Phiri, the big business tycoon,” she said, looking at me respect.
I played off her compliment although it made my heart swell with pride. “Guilty as charged. And may I know you, my princess?”
“I’m Colleta, but my friends call me Miss Wire Waist,” she said gaily running her hands on her narrow waist.
“Why not Miss Broad Hips?” I suggested glancing at her wide hips.
She laughed. “You’re flattering me, Mister Handsome Big Man.”
She said it so casually but it made me feel so good. So the girl thought me handsome! I almost jumped with joy.
We reached my car. I opened the passenger door for her.
“In you get, Miss Broad Hips,” I said with exaggerated politeness while holding the door for her.
“Thank you, Mister Handsome Big Man,” she replied with the same exaggerated deference while getting into the car.
I closed the door and rushed to the driver’s side as if I was her chauffeur.
She lived in Kawale which was on the other side of town. To get there I’d to pass through Lilongwe Bridge and the old part of the city where traffic congestion was hell. I estimated that it would take make me an hour to make the 10 kilometre trip.
With the beautiful girl beside me, I enjoyed the traffic jam immensely. She was easy to and had a very good sense of humour.
“You’re fun to be with, Mister Handsome,” she said with a laugh, “How did you think of the name Miss Broad Hips?”
I laughed too. “Because you have got the widest hips I have ever seen.”
She sent me a sideways that melted my heart. “Oh, coming from you that is a big compliment,” she giggled.
I glanced at her with open admiration. “You got everything in you, Miss Wire Waist.”
By the time we had reached her house, we had fallen in love. She invited me into her house. Being a bed seater, she had no option but to change her clothes while I was in the room.
“No peeping, Tom,” she said.
I don’t know why I did it but I sneaked a peek through my fingers and she caught me in the act. “Peeping, peeping, peeping tom, everywhere you go he’s just peeping tom,” she sang an old Toots and Maytals song while coming towards me, a provocative smile on her face.
“Oh you want to see it, honey?” she asked taking my hands off my face.
I found myself staring into her private parts. From there everything happened as if in a dream. I pulled her to me and we were soon kissing passionately. She took off my clothes as we rolled in embrace on the bed.
When I returned home, my wife welcomed me with her usual hug. I was surprised that I found her welcoming embrace revolting and her endearments irritating. As I watched her knitting something, I wondered how on earth I’d thought she was beautiful.
And that was the genesis of problems in the house. I became moody and increasingly irritating. I’d pick up a quarrel with her almost on everything.
“I always regret that I met you after you’d already married,” Miss Wire Waist said one day while she caressed my chest. “I wish I would always wake up with you beside me.”
“That’s also what I wish for,” I said. “But as you know, my wife owns the company, if I divorce her I’ll lose everything.”
She cupped my face and kissed me on the lips. “You could sell off everything and then we could leave Malawi and settle somewhere in Zambia.”
Smitten by love, I thought what she said made sense. So I secretly started selling off the company’s assets and depositing the money into Miss Wire Waist’s bank account. My plan was that after I disappeared, there should be no way of tracing where the money had gone.
Things went on extremely well. I sold off all the company’s assets without being caught. As agreed, I bought two air tickets for Zambia. I did not say good bye to my wife or children. I took a taxi to Miss Wire Waist’s house.
I was surprised not to find her home. I peeped in through the window and saw that all contents had been removed. I called her on her cell phone number. It could not be reached.
What was happening? I waited and waited. She did not appear. Her number remained unreachable. By midnight it dawned on me that I’d been duped. Miss Wire Waist was not coming back. She’d fled with all the money I’d in the world!
End
