Katakwe KASONGO

Katakwe
KASONGO
Wolemba: Lawrence Kadzitche

Mnyimbo yake yotchedwa Ali Manjamanja, Moses Makawa adayimba kuti ‘Eee awa anali wokoma akubwera kumene, anali wokoma mtima akukwatira pano…koma zonsezi anazisiya poti wajaila.’

Umutu ndimomwenso adalili Katakwe akukwatira kumene. Koma tsopano adali atajaila. Mkazi wake samamuonanso ngati munthu. Zonsezi chifukwa cha chibwenzi. Amati akathana kulankhula foni ndi bwenzi lakelo, ankaikisa kuti mua mua mua-kuchita kumveka ngati muja limachitira botolo la Coca Cola ukalitsegula.

Komatu sikuti chibwenzicho adali atakumana nacho pamaso. Ayi. Kukumana kwawo kunali pa Facebook. Tsikulo, Katakwe anadabwa foni yake itagwedera. Poyang’ana, adaona kuti idali ‘friend request’ yochokera kwa msungwana yemwe dzina lake pa Facebook po lidali Big Booty Grip.

Maso ake atangogwa pamsugwanayo mtima wake udachita mpidigoli. Mwana wamkazi lidali getsi. Adali ndi mutu woumbidwa ngati mtima. Maso akuluakulu oyang’ana moleza adasuzumira kuchokera msidze zazitali. Milomo yake yokhuthala idali yopentedwa mofiyira. Chithunzicho sichidamulole kuti mtima wake ukhale pansi. Potsitsa maso ake adaona chifukwa chomwe msungwanayo adadzitamulira dzina lakuti Big Booty Grip; mwana wamkazi adali ndi mbuyo ija pa Chichewa amati yoswa mtondo. Kuponyapo mwana sipamafunikanso mbereko.

Katakwe adayenera kudziwa kuti sadayenera kupitiriza kena kali konse kokhudzana ndi mtsikanayo. Masiku ano patchuka nguluwe ina yake pa social media yomwe pachingerezi akumaitcha Mr. Warthog koma pa Tik Tok ikumabeba ndi dzina lakuti Kasongo. Nguluwe imeneyi ndiyamatama kwambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri imachitira thamo mikango ndi akambuku. Akayamba kuithamagitsa imathawa pa liwiro la mtondo wabooka nkukabisala kudzenje komwe imalowa chammbuyo.

Ndi mawala ngati a Kasongo, Katakwe adayamba kuona zithunzi zomwe msungwanayo adaponya pa Facebook. Mmene amamaliza nkuti akukha dovu ngati galu wankhuli. Sadachedwe. Adadina batani lovomera kuti Big Booty Grip akhale mzake. Patangopita kamphindi, Katakwe adalandira uthenga wa ‘Hi’ ku inbox. Iye adayankha. Bibidi bibidi bho-pakutha kwa sabata chibwenzi chidabuka ngati moto nthawi ya chirimwe.

Munthu akakhala m’chikondi, amasiya kuganiza. Mmalo moganiza ndi bongo, amaganiza ndi mtima. Inde Big Booty Grip adali chiphadzuwa, koma monga adali nyenyezi, adalinso wokonda kupempha. Mapemphedwe ake adali otere: ‘Honey, ndaitanitsa katundu ku China ndiye yowombolera yandiperewera, ungandionjezereko?’ kapena ‘Galimoto yanga ili ku galaja ndiye ndimafuna undithandizeko yokonzetsera,’ kapena ‘Ungandionjezereko ya rent?” kapena ‘Pena pake pafoyira, ukhoza kundinako kena kake?” Akati zingati, ndalama yake inkakhala yaikulu. Izitu zidali zoonjezera pa za ku saloon ndi zina zomwe Katakwe ankangotumiza yekha kuti azioneka khumucha.

Poyisonkhezera moto, msugwanayo ankamutumizira zithunzi za maliseche zomwe ankazitcha Big Booty Nude. Akatero Katakwe ankaduka podziwa kuti amati konza kapansi kuti kammwamba katsike.

Mkazi wake adazimilira ngati kuwala kwa dzuwa mdima ukagwa. Katakwe adasiya kupereka chithandizo, komanso ngakhale adakafuna kuthandiza ndalama adakazitenga kuti poti zonse Big Booty Grip ankaika padzino? Adali atamira m’ngongole ngati munthu wogwa m’chithaphwi. Kuntchitonso ankasolola ndalama zakampani.

Komatu ngakhale ankachita zimenezi, mtsikanayo adali asanakumane nayebe. Akagwirizana kuti akumane, pankapezeka china chake cholepheretsa. Ulendo woyamba, buthulo lidati galimoto yake idafera panjira. Ulendo wina mtsikanayo adati wadwala mwadzidzidzi tsiku lomwe ankati akumane. Koma ulendo uno, Big Booty Grip adamuuza Katakwe kuti ayenera kukumana zivute maka. ‘Ungonditumizira yoti ndipangitse service galimoto ndi ya mafuta udzatsinkhe ndiwo mofatsa,” namwaliyo adatero pa telefonipo. Katakwe adapsopsona foni yake osasamala zoti mkazi wake ali pomwepo kenaka nkutumiza ndalamayo.

Zonse zidachitika nthawi imodzi. Mkazi wa Katakwe adalongedza zinthu zake nkuchoka. Mmene Katakwe ankati azinyamuka kukakumana ndi msungwanayo ndipomwe adaona nkhaniyo mu nyuzipepa. MAN POSING AS A SOCIAL MEDIA SOCIALITE ARRESTED, mutu wa nkhaniyo udatero m’chingerezi. Nkhaniyo idati mkulu wina yemwe ankanamizira kuti ndi msungwana kuti azibera amuna ndalama adagwidwa. Nkhaniyo idapitirira kuti munthuyo ankatenga zithunzi za pa internet nkumanamizira kuti ndi iyeyo ndipo dzina lodyera lomwe ankagwiritsa ntchito lidali…Big Booty Grip…

“Nanga poti ndinkalankhula naye?” Katakwe adadzifunsa mobayizika. Yankho adalipeza popitiriza kuwerenga. ‘Mbavayi inkagwira ntchito limodzi ndi msungwana yemwe ankalankhulana ndi abambo aja pa mafoni. Akati akumane, iye ankalephera popereka zifukwa zosiyanasiya. Zikukhulupiridwa kuti ndipsiyi yabera abambo osiyanasiyana otengeka ndalama zoposa mamiliyoni khumi.”

Katakwe adakomoka. Mmene ankadzidzimuka adali kuchipatala. Pambali pake padali kalata yochokera kuntchito yomufunsa kuti ayankhe pamulandu womuganizira kuti adasowetsa ndalama kunchitoko.

End